


Banter falls

by petersleg



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-25 10:07:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3806440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petersleg/pseuds/petersleg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elijah wants to take Alaric to prom - but Elena and Damon have other ideas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. cheeky cheyal

Damon walks up to the dinner table, sitting down as Rebekah looks around the door at his behind. “Alaric can you pass the salt” he says looking at da window into the nearby treez. “no go away I am the salts man can you not” he whines, throwing pepper into damons face. Elijah walks into the room with his new haircut. “WOWOWOWOW!” says damon and alaric, runnin to touch the spikes on his hed. “that's so chealin” says damon, wiggling his arms as he puts crisps into his mouth. ''thnx lads'' says Elijah swag so casj. Alaric Salty salts man asks damon where he can find a trick.  
''wtf Alaric y u want a trick wen u got me fam'' cries damon  
''becuz he has a betta behind den u''

(lyk if u cry every tim x)

2 HRS LATA 

''OMFG IT IS A TRICK UR SO FAMOUS ILY I WATCH MAKIN SOUND EVERYDAY'' screamz salts man

''er wtf blud I hve a special man in mi life''

''but a trik I have travelled across oceans for u''

''stop lyin ya stoopid twit wuz only a 1hr drive for banter falls'' 

''ffs atrik who iz dis man u speak ov''

'' his name is connor k + he is the most amaze balls earth worm I hve eva met!11!!''

''I will hve him m8''

Meanwhile Alaric goes on his personal mission to dig into the earths core to find connor k doing parkour in the soil. Damon is in his bedroom thinking about Alaric and why he wont want to be with him.

I JUST DNT UNDERSTAND FFS Y DONT HE LUV ME NO MORE EVER SINCE I TURNED HIM INTO A SWAGPIRE HE DONT LUV MEH. WHERE IS JER BEAR!!!!!!!!!!

Jer bear enters da room......................

''wut da fk is wrong wiv u ya pussy faggot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''

''FU jer bear I just wanted 2 b frendz!!!!!''

''WELL I DONT WUNT TO BE FRENDZ WIV A DOUCHE BAG LIKE U ALSO I AM BUSY STARrING IN A TRICKS NEW VIDEO AS A TREE IN THE BACKGROUND SO I CAN BE FAMOUZ 1 DAI!''

''WE ARE OVER JER BEAR WE ARE DONE''

damon is now crying harder into his pillow which has a picture of max on it, who damon also regularly fantastises over. 

''maybe I shuld just call max over here''

RING RING

max: sup 

damon: Hi is thiz cheeki cheyal?

max: NO FFS DIZ IZ NOT CHEEKI CHEYAL!!11!!

Damon: stfu and cum over yh?

Max: ok on ma wai

damon: ok bi

 

30 mins later

max: hi

damon: hi

whilst max thinks he is going to sleep with damon and have the time of his life whilst damon goes into kiss his neck

damon : * sucks all blood out of main artetrie*

damon: fuck u max

the end of the max and damon chronicles.

 

Back to salty salts man

alaric goes down to the basement and sees elijah suddenlie deaded with a dagger in him HAR HAR LOLS, so alaric covers him in salt and pulls the dagger out. He sings mr tumble to him “HELLO HELLO HOW ARE YOU HELLO HELLO IT'S GD TO SEE U, I SAY HELLO” but elijah dosen't appreciate this and throws his curtain hair at alaric, which kills alaric but alaric has a ring so hes all gd. Elijah runs to stefans room and hides under the bed. “is salts man trying to sing to u agen” he asks, throwing his last banana at a picture of hayley. “excuse me thats my gf” says elijah!!! “not anymore I killed her with a banana” stefan replies. Elijah laughs. “ok cool thnx, shes so annoying”  
stefan high fives him. Elijah goes to the wardrobe and pulls out elena and carolines prom dressez. 

“shall we” says elijah. Stefan nods. “I want carolines dress to try on!!11!!”  
“k” replied elijah and takes elenas into the bathroom. 

Elijah decides a dress is really good on him so he swoons into damons room who is eaten max cheal. “o so qt!!! can I have carolines dress” damon says. “No damon stefan's got dat one. You can hav Klaus's dress. He dosen't wear his much.” says elijah and throws It at him. 

“Thnx. Gon look so much cuter than stefan.” damon laffs. 

Elena and caroline get home from shopping with their new akkesories for the dresses but sees elijah in elenas dress... “WOT RU DOIN M8” elena cries. Elijah looks in elenas shopping bags. “THANK U ELENA YOU BROUGHT ME A TIARA!!! ILY!!!” he squeals. He puts it on his beaut vogue haircut and and flutters around the room. Alaric entes the room all angry but when he sees elijah he swoons. “YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL BAE, THE SALT LOOKS AMAZING WITH THAT DRSESS!!” elijah blows a kiss “fanks, elena dont want it no more” 

“YES I DO” shouts elena. Elijah snaps her neck. “NO YOU DON'T” he whispers.  
Damon enters with beauty, poise and grace. “I AM BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY STEFAN CAN'T BRING ME DOWN” stefan follows him. 

“HELLO BROTHER” he winks. “thats such an improvement.” 

“LOL THANKS I H8 U”


	2. a suodden suprise by jearbear

Da nite of prom <3

Alaric and Elijah enta prom 2geva holdin hands, atricks mix tape is playin in da background

alaric : I rely luv dis tune dont u my lil muffin?

Eli : stfu alaric ur crampin ma style u lil bich

alaric : ffs I just want 2 b ur bae

eli : lol

shortly afta damon walks in with jer bear

jer bear – im rly soz 4 bein so snide 2 u earlier

damon – its ok jer bear ily 5eva

jer bear – wtf damon u gaylord I luv PAVLOV

damon – WTF JER BEAR Y U DO DIZ 2 ME U SEND ME PIX N NOW U WANT IVAN 

#heartbroken x

da nite of prom is ended abrutply as dere is a mighty explosion in da ground#

damon – wtf is that

jerbear turns around lookin at where da hoomongius explosion hit. “soz guys that was my fart I appear 2 have blewen up the scool!” 

damon laffs. “oh jerbear I do ship us sometimes.” he lafffs again, pulling a piece of explosioned poo from his hair. “SHUT UP DAMON! JER THAT WAS SO DIZGUSTIN U BERK” elena yelps but elijah sneakz and snaps the old hed again. “LOL soz bae” he cheers.   
Alaric appears, puttin salt up his bum. “THAT WAS SO BRAVE OF YOU ELIJAHY”   
“fanks bae ily” ses elijah “ur so sweet but save some salt for me you twat”


End file.
